Countin from 1 to 10 000

450

451
hehe lyra somehow i dont think your title quite siuts you

Master - your wish is my command.
452

453

454 Epic FAIL thread

455

lol i got fail kitty on picture thread
456

457

458

459

this thread is so:

460

461

462

463

464

465

466

467

468

10 Truths

This ........ is funny, if you you politically correct, then ........ it, you may be offended, all of it was funny as hell to me.

TEN TRUTHS WHITE, BLACK, AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Hickies are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Cars are not meant to touch the ground.
6. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
7. Ten people to a car is considered too many.
8. You're in America, you speak English.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

TEN TRUTHS BLACK, HISPANIC, AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
8. NSYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional spanking helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

TEN TRUTHS WHITE, HISPANIC, AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Ranch is a salad dressing, not a side dish.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

TEN TRUTHS WHITE, HISPANIC, AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT ASIAN PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. You can't drive.
2. Disneyland is not the happiest place on earth.
3. The peace sign is outdated.
4. Rice is not a main course.
5. Taking pictures is fun, taking pictures of strangers is just weird.
6. Feet were meant to grow.
7. You need girls just as much as you need boys.
8. Dogs were meant to be pets, not eaten.
9. You dont need above a 4.0 to graduate.
10. Fanny packs are not an accessory

469

470

471

Wrong Number....

. ((((RING)))...

**Pick Up** "Hello?"

"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Frank.”

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now." Brief Pause… "Uh, okay then, ... this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."

"Okay Daddy, just a minute."

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

"I did it Daddy."

"And what happened honey?" he asked.

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.

But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it, he hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."

***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??...Is this 555-7039??"

372

373

Little Johnny's Too Smart For First Grade

A first grade teacher, Mrs Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"

Johnny answered, "I am too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in third grade too."

Mrs Brooks had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office.

While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Mrs Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Johnny: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?"

Johnny: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade should know. The principal looks at Mrs Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third grade."

Mrs Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him, some questions?" The principal and Johnny both agree.

Mrs Brooks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only 2 of? Johnny, after a moment "Legs."

Mrs Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Johnny: "Pockets."

Mrs Brooks: "What starts with C and ends with T, is hairy, oval and delicious and contains a whitish liquid?"

Johnny: "Coconut."

Mrs Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny takes charge.....

Johnny: "Bubblegum."

Mrs Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on 3 legs?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.....

Johnny: "Shake hands."

Mrs Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' questions, okay?"

Mrs Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me.You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."

Johnny: "Tent."

Mrs Brooks: "A finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first"

The principal was looking restless and a bit tense. Johnny: "Wedding Ring."

Mrs Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver?"

Johnny: "Arrow."

Mrs Brooks: "What word starts with F and ends in K and means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Johnny: "Fire truck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Johnny to University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

474 - change your numbers guys - this is gonna take forever if we go backwards